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SEC Football Vibes: Coming To You From Deutschland

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Taking a look at what we are vibing on as the SEC, or at least me, takes over Germany in the latest edition of SEC Football Vibes.


Guten Tag, my loyal readers. SEC Vibes is coming to you with a European feel for the next two weeks as I visit the land of my ancestors, take in a couple of Bundesliga soccer matches, and … well … let’s face it, I will be trying out each and every beer that I can get my hands on.

Currently in Germany, yours truly was greeted by an angry customs policeman that was upset about my passport being so shoddy. Sorry, buddy, but I accidentally washed it with a load of laundry two years ago. Alas, it still works even despite his angry stares.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty, because lately – and I mean in the last 24 hours – I have been vibing on some Warsteiner, a delicious breakfast platter that my flight attendant woke me up with at the tail end of the long journey from Chicago to Berlin, and trying not to give the old “deer in the headlights” look when someone responds to me in Deutsch. Come along for the ride, as we dig into the latest edition of SEC Football Vibes: Germany Style.

– It is old hat to do that column where you compare, say, a team from the Bundesliga, the top league in German soccer, to a SEC football team, but I have to do it to educate you: Bayern Munich is the equivalent of Alabama. Dominant in every way, always has the best players, and wins championships at an alarming level. You hate them, but you want to be them.

– Will there ever be a more well-known German last name in SEC football than Phillip Lutzenkirchen? The name was just fun to say during his days at Auburn.

– Oh, Hugh Freeze, when will you learn? Did he really come out and say that opposing coaches were talking negative about Ole Miss to recruits due to the NCAA investigation? Oh, Lord have mercy, Hugh. I just can’t stand this witch hunt against a righteous man like yourself. How dare these heathens come after you? If this isn’t the end of times, I don’t want to be around when they do come. Help me, Jesus.

– Speaking of hard times, I would love to have the constant optimism that Butch Jones possesses. He’s the anti-Hugh Freeze. The world will be burning around Jones one day and his reaction will be, “This is exactly what we planned for. Tennessee has arrived!” Good for him.

– I don’t follow recruiting that closely (props to our recruiting analyst Robert Judin for continually being on top of everything), but I do have fun when it comes to typing out an analysis of a player. In no other industry is the word “disengaging” used so often. The word explosive is used more than a regular ISIS meeting. (Sorry, I went all Rick Reilly there, didn’t I? I’m better than that. Maybe it is the jet lag.)

– The news that Dameyune Craig has been dismissed from LSU as wide receivers coach comes as both a shock and a welcome opportunity for Gus Malzahn to bring him back to where he belongs. I’ve probably mentioned this at least 3,000 times, but Craig fits in with Auburn, and is a hero among the Tigers fan base. Want to get in some good graces with the boosters? Bring him back, Gus!

– Georgia’s going to be good for a long time, aren’t they? Call me whatever you want, but the conference is at its best when the Bulldogs are contenders. There are a lot of great things about the SEC, and a Saturday in Athens is right near the top. Don’t blow this, Kirby.

– Earlier today, I tried to explain my career to a nice older German man. He spoke almost fluent English, had been to the United States a few times, but only in the Northeast portion. When describing my job, I pulled out my phone and showed him pictures of the tailgating scenes, SEC stadiums, and some videos of games. He was amazed by the size of the stadiums, and became instantly hooked. (I might have even had him saying “War Eagle” after a few pints.) The point of the story, and I do have one, is that we are lucky to be alumni and fans and downright passionate about a sport and conference that can blow the mind of a 60-year-old German who doesn’t even know the rules of the game. Now, it is dinner time for me. Ich möchte ein groß Bier zu trinken, bitte.

MORE: SEC Football Predictions, Storylines For 2017 Season

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