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SEC Football Vibes: ‘Twas The Night Before Football

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Taking a look at what we are vibing on in SEC football, including recapping all of the conference season action with an ode.


‘Twas the night before SEC football
And all through the South
The fans would try sleeping
With fight songs murmuring from mouths.

The offseason was long
And some stories made us queasy
Like when the Magnolia State coaches
Both came across as sleazy.

Dan Mullen was in town
And sharing his season views
No I’m not responsible for Jeffrey Simmons
Hey, look at my cool shoes.

Hugh Freeze was just as bad
Saying with a firm declaration
That he had done nothing wrong
And didn’t deserve probation.

September 3 arrived
And the kickoff began
Little would anyone figure out
Auburn’s confounded game plan.

The Volunteers started wearily
Big Orange fans were almost sick
But in Butch Jones they trusted
Because he was building brick by brick.

On Jalen, on Reuben, on Damian
And all of the Tide convoy
There was no stopping Saban
From embarrassing the Men of Troy

The season continued along
Some quarterbacks started to grow
Eason and Bentley precisely
Made defensive coordinators go “whoa.”

Arkansas kept getting pounded
And Bielema grew bitter
The once-jolly guy
Blocked a certain someone on Twitter

Les Miles got fired
After 11-plus years
Ed Orgeron now holds the gig
To a lot of Tiger fans’ fears.

The Florida offense was operated
As if no one had a clue
Luke Del Rio or Austin Appleby
Trouble at QB was hardly anything new.

Barry Odom’s first season
Turned into a disaster
If this doesn’t improve
He’ll be the next ex-coach sportscaster.

The Aggies had a nice run
Thanks to the new guy under center
While Christian Kirk played the role
As a cornerback tormentor.

Vandy made a bowl
And did Stoops’ Troops
Giving Kentucky fans a reason
To cheer for something other than hoops.

Florida won the East
With a defense downright cruel
Jim McElwain’s only response:
Man, isn’t that cool?

The Tide repeated as conference champs
To little surprise on Saban’s patrol
Halfway through the third quarter
Lane Kiffin was on Twitter ready to troll.

Uncle Verne called his last game
Saying the job was a dream
“There goes Davis” was my favorite call
Along with that golden CBS theme.

Bowl season is now here
And I want to say to thee
Thank you for reading Vibes this season
And, of course, S-E-C!

MORE: Top Five College Football Alternate Uniforms Of 2016

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